Monday, 20 January 2014

How to make a Megalodon movie

A Megalodon as seen in 'Shark Attack 3: The John Barrowman Story"


Megalodons are popular movie villains because they're usually depicted as scaled up great white sharks. I've watched every Megalodon Shark movie there is so let me share what I've learned with you:

1. Megalodon are prehistoric, so make sure to mention that a lot. It doesn't matter what era of prehistory they're from, pick a time period and go with it. Let's just say Jurassic, everyone likes that.

2. Megalodons can be any size because science doesn't really know how big they were anyway. They can even keep changing size throughout the movie because maths is hard and for all science knows, they could do that.

3. It's hard to come by a Megalodon in the wild and even harder to get it to stay on it's mark so you'll have to hire a CGI shark to play the part of a Megalodon.

4. Sharks are actors too, even the CGI ones, so give them motivation. Maybe they're hungry or lonely or they just want people to stop drilling for oil. Anything. Just remember, being a wild animal is not motivation enough for eating people.

5. Megalodons can attack anyone in water no matter how shallow. Even if the actor is clearly standing on the seafloor, and there isn't enough water to conceal a shark of any size, Megalodon can still appear. Shhh...Science, you don't know.

6. Although Megalodon enjoy eating people, their favourite food is boats.

7. Megalodon are in no way extinct.

A Megalodon shown eating its second favourite food in the movie  'Hai alarm auf Mallorca' 

Top Tip: Using the word 'Megalodon' in your movie title may confuse people who aren't massive nerds. A way around this is to use other, more descriptive terms like: 'Attack of the 60 ft Shark', 'Super Mega Monster Fish', 'DinoJaws' or 'Megalasaurus Rex' .

If you don't want to waste two weeks of your life making your own Megalodon movie, you can just watch some that other people made:









And here's the trailer for The Asylums newest shark masterpiece 'Mega Shark VS Mecha Shark', (due out on 28th of January) which looks AMAZING:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQ6HIQV0YQ

Note:
'Megalodon' was recently re-released as 'Sharkzilla'. Buying it once is bad enough, don't accidentally buy it twice.
'Jurassic shark' was also released as 'Attack of the Jurassic Shark'
'Mega Shark in Malibu' is actually a repackaged version of 'Malibu Shark Attack' and has no Mega sharks in it. False Advertising!



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